Escaping Abuse Part 9: “ Why don’t you just leave?”
The journey of my spiritual awakening kept unfolding alongside the unfolding turmoil of my husband’s abuse.
As he continued to reveal his true colours, he kept pushing me to seek solace in my connection with Allah (SWT).
There wasn't much else that I could do. I wasn't ready to walk out — just yet.
Nights marred by his verbal assaults often ended with me on the prayer mat, tears streaming down my face.
Sometimes I would plead for his love and respect to replace the pain; other times, I simply prayed for the strength to walk away.
Gradually, I started to notice something strange.
Whenever I put my head down in Sujood ( Prostration), poured my heart out to Allah or closed my eyes and did Zikr with full force, I came out feeling light as a feather. As a Muslim, I did believe that Allah listens to our pleas- but this was the first time that I was experiencing it.
This was in stark contrast to when I felt lost and confused and I reached out to close friends or family members. I thought that If I vent out to them, I will get some closure. But most of the times, after sharing my thoughts and feelings with them, I felt even more restless and confused.
