A Single Mum’s Diary: Where is Home?
In the labyrinth of expat life, home becomes an elusive concept, tangled in the threads of distance, longing, and fractured belonging.
Fourteen years ago, I embarked on a journey from the embrace of my family in Pakistan to the unfamiliar shores of England.
What began as a quest for education evolved into a life intertwined with unexpected twists.
Finding my husband, starting a family and then witnessing my marriage break, led to the complexities of legal battles over my children’s future.
The pull of my British-born children anchors me to England, who i cannot take out of the country without their father’s permission. And the echoes of my parents’ whispers draw me back to Pakistan.
Every visit to my homeland is a symphony of conflicting emotions. I am torn between the laughter of my children and the silent needs of my aging parents, their unspoken longing for my presence a palpable ache in my heart.
As departure looms on the horizon, my soul is enveloped in a fog of uncertainty. Neither England nor Pakistan feels like home in its entirety.
I am a nomad, drifting between worlds, craving the solace of rootedness in one place, one family.
Yet, amidst the turmoil, a flicker of faith lights my path. I find solace in the belief that my true home lies beyond this transient realm.
Jannah, where all souls find eternal peace, where reunions are everlasting, and where the pains of separation dissolve into oblivion.
With each step, I strive to earn Allah’s mercy, to pave my way to that ultimate sanctuary. InshaAllah, one day, my restless spirit will find its eternal abode, where the yearning for home is finally laid to rest.
